Aldo's birthday special: Resolutions and messages

In case you didn't know, I just turned fifteen. It's not a big event, but it's significant one way or another, because it's something that occurs every year. Like Christmas, but this time the person whose birth your celebrating is real.

Your birthday, as all people generally agree, is the only 24-hour period everybody has where you can make yourself feel important, bitch people around, and do whatever you want that wouldn't normally. However, I beg to differ, and would like to do something people conveniently won't do, which is giving resolutions (that I probably won't do a few days later).

It's not going to be easy, as far as I and everybody else knows. There's tons of wrongs I did, and more I have to do that I haven't even started doing yet. To start with...

Parents - I am deeply sorry for what happened, and what happened is not the case of "freaking-out-because-hands-were-forced-off-computer" but my Anthropophobia (fear of people) taking place. I have had that phobia since birth, probably because my first hours were in total darkness and I started imagining the hospital staff as dark childish monsters (usually in the form of scribbles, since my imagination back then was the equivalent of a 60's computer). Again, I beg forgiveness.
Friends - I'm going to get us all a 18" yellow cab for a blowout. :)
Internets ppl - Imma firin m4h birthd4y l4z0rs!11!
Alter persona - Screw you. You should try to take over more often (especially when I'm taking to people), and stop forcing me to wank every once in a while.
My desktop - I know how you feel because I did not reformat you. Let's face it, reinstalling those 180GBs worth of shit back into you is going to take a really really long time.
My laptop - I'm probably not going to use you anymore in a few months, so enjoy my time in high school while you still can. ;D
My phone - GODDAMNIT NOKIA I WANT MY MONIES BACK
God - Hey, I've been trying to contact you, unfortunately the "prayer" connection does not seem to work, I checked with the saint concerned with prayers connecting to you, however, he seems to act like a dick and hung up. You need better customer support. Anyways, thanks for giving me one hell (Oops, I meant heaven) of a life. I enjoyed it.

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