Ah, what a pleasant day here at the quaint, quiet school. I'm just minding my business here, all alone with a few books, English, Math and one titled, 'How to piss on a urinal while sitting on it'. I turn my head to my right and see a very gorgeous girl, all dressed in the conservative uniform for high school girls of the school. Relying on basic human social instinct, I open my mouth to introduce myself, when suddenly some nasty voice screeched behind me and overtook me before I spoke. Suddenly I felt something gripping my crotch - oh shit - it's a cockgrip! I now writhe and roll on the floor groaning and screaming in pain as this inhuman metal instrument force over 9000 pounds of pressure into my pen0r.That, my friends, is a verbatim statement of your typical student after the implementation of sticking spiky metal rings into every man's dick that steps foot in the school, causing unimaginable pain and a new wave of "dick of steel" jokes.
Latest innovation in dong suppression.
The Idea
At some evil lair...Sister 1: We've got a problem.Sister 2: Don't we ever not have any?Sister 1: Shut up. It's about our student's convulsive public display of affection.Sister 3: Yet again.Sister 1: Yes, and this time, it gets worse. It seems that they performed such malicious acts on our Foundation Day. On our Foundation Day!Sister 2: Such malice!Sister 1: And it is one of those days, when their parents come to the campus to watch our extremely boring exhibits!Sister 2: The implications this would cause! Surely they would think we raised their children to be become raging sex machines as adults?Sister 3: We need to do something about this immediately. Rules would be unnecesary. I think we need to apply some physical force. Any ideas?Sister 1: Beating the shit out of them when they come five inches between each other would sound good.Sister 2: No, that would violate their inexistent human rights. Let's try nagging them to death with our sermons.Sister 3: That didn't even work. Why don't we threaten their parents instead?Random passing retard: I love cockrings!Sister 1: Yes, that's it! Cockrings! We'll use cockrings to supress them!Sister 2: We are agreed. Cockrings, then. (Evil laugh)
Summed up (for those of you who does not understand American humor), what the administrators the schoolwould like to propose is to implement metal spikes to be worn by any male with a wang going inside the campus. Even those fat dudes who have dongs that barely reach an inch in length are not safe, MicroRings, as they have called it, are developed for the men with almost no dick.
The implementation of such horrid instruments would immensely supress the sexual thoughts and desires of any man, regardless of sexuality, walking inside the campus. Even a semi-boner would bring your wood to a "phallus-inspired" iron maiden hell.
Above: Installing the Cockgrip on an unsuspecting visitor.
Mass Production
More than 5,000 cockrings were built in the course of one week, thanks to the unsuspecting force of 5-year old orphans whom the sisters dragged away from the streets in order to work in dirty factories filled with rats and slave drivers. 4,000 of these rings were built for normal sized wangs, 500 built for those rated as "Dongzilla" size, and 500 for those under the miniature scale.
Actual photo of the production.
The cockrings will be distributed by various security guards who will shove these metal instruments of doom to every student passing by, even if they are female. These rings are not disposable and are to be worn by the student for the rest of the school year. Those who misplace their cockring will be prohibited from graduation and promotion rites.
Conclusion
If you're a nympomaniac, or would like to have your dong sent to near death trauma for the rest of your lifetime, head over a catholic school! You don't have to enroll or sign anything, just bring your john along! It will be fun, I'm sure, realizing that every part of your body is granted rights of protection, except for your wood!
Above: Video footage of a student being retrofitted with the innovative Cockgrip.
Aldo writes for the sake of the right of expression and does not hesitate to say what he has to say to anybody, regardless of whom that anybody is and his/her authority over the people! If you've got something to say about his writing, raise your hand and speak up, nigga!
