I have five reasons to hate these laymen, some of which are...
5. Not moving too much (aka laziness)
Your typical layman spends at least 80% of his (or her, you feminists) time sitting around. These generally endless periods of sitting their asses down on something comfortable are usually paired with some other "sitting your ass down" activities, such as watching TV, eating, and playing Farmville. Of course, the remaining 20% of standing up is usually spent going to the bathroom to piss or the refrigerator to grab a snack.
As a result, most, if not all laymen are generally overweight.
Typical layman.
Without proper exercise at least three times a week, laymen are exposed to the fat disease, wherein the body starts to bloat and you begin to resemble a hippopotamus standing upright. Of course, these laymen give out excuses for exercise, one of these is the excuse that "walking is enough exercise" or "fitness is retarded". Whatever the excuse, it ain't pretty, much like their body masses.
Most of the fat accumulated within a person infected with the fat disease have their senses impaired, which leads to another nuisance, that is...
4. No sense of visual and audio perception
Let's say your driving down a typical Filipino road. Good for you! You finally took on the guts and possess the balls to drive a car through the worst roads in the world. Tossing the noisy street peddlers and occassional naked begging streetchildren aside, you await at the corner of an intersection, anticipating the traffic light to turn green. When it did, you slammed on the gas, going through sixty kilometers an hour when suddenly some dumbass driving a bus beside you decides to make your day bad by suddenly swerving at your direction. Of course, he can see you and your lowriding Porsche, but he just couldn't.
You knew this was going to happen.
Have you ever encountered people in FPS games, more specifically Filipino ones? When playing, their senses are commonly locked on to the 180 degree spot in front of them, completely oblivious to the world above, below and behind them. To add salt to the already n00bish wound, most of these players feel compelled to stare at the ground at all times in search for imaginary gold. They do it to such extent that even gold-hungry Jews in real life don't even perform such behavior.
Obviously, loss of sensory perception is linked to...
3. Hanging out in groups too much
Have you seen a layman who is out alone, in a dark room, with nobody to talk to or even look at? That's pretty much no problem with him if he's got some sort of communication device (in this case a cellphone) to communicate with other people outside his prison, to ask them to get him the fuck out of there fast because his grapes in Farmville are going to wither in ten minutes. Of course, if you remove the cellphone, the guy's not going to last even five minutes.
Oh my God, my grapes! They're withering faster than my penis!
One thing I hate also with laymen is that, they tend to go out in packs or bunches. And not just some pack, I mean, a huge pack, to be accurate. Most of the times when they finally convinced themselves that they have to walk to the food instead of calling the nearest McDonalds, they form a huge wall as they march to the fast food branch, very similar to an ancient Greek phalanx formation. This delays anybody unfornate enough to be behind the group, and if you happen to be that unlucky guy and is in a hurry during a marathon, you can forget about breaking your record time.
During most marathons, 74% of the runners are composed of this guy above.
Augmenting this annoying trait is another annoying trait, which is...
2. Talking too much
Upon taking the first step on the way to the nearest McDonalds to gorge on fat-enriched foods, a group of laymen can get bored quick. To suppress this boring feeling, these laymen pass the time by communicating with each other through vocal communication, exchanging worthless information and stories about their lives that you shouldn't dare hear as they go. In fact, the average layman's mouth can fire words faster than an AK-47 can fire bullets.
Also take note that an average AK47 can fire more than 200 rounds per minute.
Listen up, layman (as if you can read this anyway, since you have poor visual recognition skills), us awesome people require at least 20% of our daily hours to have total silence, away from the noise of the world. We do not care if you just got promoted, the American president is black, or that your mother committed suicide because she remembered that she was your mother. If you are going to disturb our quiet time, at least talk about something useful or logical, like why are we in a recession, if the chicken came first before the egg, or why your mother didn't abort you before when she already knew you were going to be born. Oh, and speaking of your life...
1. Wasting their lives away
Summing up the previous four reasons to hate laymen, it comes to one point where the inabilities to move, see, understand, remain in solitude and silence has the potential to completely suck away the layman's life.
Why don't you laymen move a little for a change? Like, walking your way to the store next block instead of having to drive your car there. Doing so would save the oil market and probably make your lags a bit more useful. And if you start to be aware of things around you, you'll probably save the funeral parlor the trouble of having to process each and every corpse you create after time and time you crash your vehicle at the intersection. Have you tried not talking, especially in groups? You'll probably save the world from noise pollution and the running person behind you who is hurrying to get to his wife dying in the hospital would arrive to his destination and save his spouse. If you tried all of those, congratulations. You've finally made something out of your life.
Additionally, you'll be one step closer to being like this guy above.
But if you're just going to stay there, sitting on your table, chowing on your third helping of McDonalds Chicken Fillet, with your other overweight friends, chattering with each other endlessly (with the food still in your mouth), exchanging worthless information while at the same time playing Farmville on your computer, you should probably reconsider life.
Hooray! No, wait, that ain't right...
